My body screamed over sesame seeds for ten days and finally calmed down. Me eating hummus like, so why don't you care about this, it's sesame. Body shrugs. More hummus please.

I seem to have escaped grocery PEM entirely other than same day, and a little when I woke up that turned out to be needing to eat. I'm so used to being useless through Friday or Sunday, this hasn't happened for over a year. I'm not going to do anything crazy with it, but I was able to write today, whereas usually I'd have to give it a wide berth until Friday at the earliest. I do have to do some tidying though, because next week new furniture time begins!! Futureproofing my living space is go. My dad has been onboard with it as a concept and willing to go collect orders from Ikea for me and then assemble it after, I'm very fortunate.

After some thought, I decided on D.Va for the second galactic weapon over Juno, since Juno has. Barely any skins on account of being still relatively new. Whereas D.Va has tons and many of them combo really well with the purple, only one of my favourites doesn't, soooo...




Yes Nocturna has sidecar bunnies wearing Squirtle squad sunglasses. Their names are Persephone and Adonis and I love them.

From playing Stadium - me and duo are doing one or two games a night, depending on length - I should have enough comp points by the end of the season for a third galactic weapon, and from drives, a fourth! Those will be for Juno and Brigitte. Next season I'll be saving up again for likely Ashe, but also mystery tank lady releasing in November/December, because she might be an omnic and wolf themed and a gladiator and hngh. I kind of still like the all women with golds idea, too... it's too on brand...

I've ventured into playing some Ashe in stadium and after I figured out a build that plays to my strengths and also embraces how gimmicky stadium is, it's been bangin'. Literally. Lots of dynamite. Lots of fire. The first game I went in on the other dps threw a tantrum because Ashe apparently doesn't win stadium games and proceeded to pull out their throw pick and afk for multiple rounds, and we won 4v5, so, :') the build with my duo on Mercy works, ok. Slowly but surely we'll get out of rookie and novice leagues again, maybe.

Relating to absolutely nothing, these two victory poses match. This is entirely a stick-up. I'm having so many thoughts.

It's maintenance, it's been a week, figuratively and literally. The post groceries PEM only really started to lift yesterday (Sunday) and I still feel sluggish and as though I'm moving through wet cement, and that's with all my precautions. I should not leave the house on Wednesday for a blood test, but given they've made me wait six weeks for it, I don't really have a choice...

Food wise, I am mostly back to pre-November levels of paradoxical diarrhoea and constipation, by heavily restricting my diet, upping the fybogel, and taking gaviscon during the day with omeprazole at night. Some foods I don't fucking get. There is nothing in them ingredients wise that I have an aversion to, but they keep causing problems. Others are like, okay, is there too much fat content in this meal overall, and if there isn't, having cheese with it will be fine. What's really pissing me off though is that I was eating well before I started having these aversions. Now I can eat a fraction of that. I can eat like, four whole vegetable types, everything else is off the table, possibly permanently. There isn't much more of any food to get rid of, and that's what troubles me. It's done this once. Twice, if you count gallstones. What happens if it does it again?

And really, it's same old same old, as it has been since early 2022. I wake up physically and mentally languished. I have zero energy. Food will get me energy. But eating means I have to suffer the consequences of having eaten, but I have to do it, or else my head will not stop hurting. It takes a significant amount of mental fortitude to do this day in day out, especially when it is the only thing you do. Like. I don't think health care gets this. I would have stopped eating a long time ago if I could. The most I can hope for and have again achieved is to get to a point where my paradoxical diarrhoea is "manageable", where it happens regularly at the same time every day, but it's still there. It's nice not to have constant pain and nausea from the gallstones, but the trade-off has been a heavily lowered baseline to the point where I still can't see people and have to be more conservative with my energy than ever.

And it quite frankly sucks. Add in the fact my body is trying, and failing, to have a period, and is fighting the PMDD related brain gremlins... I don't have the energy for facing this. I fully expect my blood tests to come back as "you're fine" because they always do. Yeah, sure. I'm fine but you checking this has me paralysed in bed. Sure. Sounds fantastically fine.

I'm still working on Estelline's fic, on and off, to keep my mind watered, have been trying to play Heavensward when I can recall the last line of dialogue that was just on screen, poor levels of success. It's funny because fic is mostly just Sad. No one is having a good time. There's three sex scenes and they are all Sad, the two aftermath scenes following them are Sad, everyone is miserable. Until the end, when it becomes a bit more bittersweet. Classic Heavensward tbh.

I am, I think, mostly done with gpose... I lowered the amount for Prih, because actually, the moment I want you to see her for the first time is when Estelline really sees her for the first time, when she saves her life. It's visually poetic. The only thing I need is more Artoirel, but, patches. He moves around in patches. Please uncross your arms at least once, sir. I beg.

What else... I returned to Stadium in Overwatch, which I still don't really like. ( i am enjoying it more now that I figured out what to do with it but it's not really what I'm here for... )