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The good news is I finished what I was writing on Monday... the bad news is my period started on Tuesday, which explains my utterly sour mood for the week prior, despising myself, not being able to or wanting to sleep over the weekend, and my brain inventing new and terrifying ways to off myself, and with my body's latest bs, the relief of PMDD going away due to bleeding starting lasted approximately eighteen hours before the depression settled right back in and I am here, after having being in bed fifteen hours last night due to knife stabbing abdomen pain, once again experiencing the above list. I hate it. Sincerely. It's hard enough without my brain permanently sabotaging me.
I was going to have dad over for more flat maintenance or maybe furniture stuff, but hadn't done any tidying due to having prioritised writing, and with what were PMDD symptoms at the weekend that was probably a good call. It's equally tough to celebrate what should be a writing win as I did it, I bested those demons, when I am experiencing all the demons again just in a different font 😔 I do and have always felt like I'm repeating myself unknowingly from other fics in the same series, it's very same formulaic as a couple of others, but some parts I am very happy with. Ashe does a lot of emotional heavy lifting and makes a fair few little speeches whilst Amélie doesn't, it's lopsided, but I keep having to remind myself that at this point in them learning to co-inhabit that's okay. Amélie running away, choosing Ashe, staying with her in Arizona speak incredibly loudly so she has to do her best to reciprocally be worthy of such grandiose gestures... and she would reinforce with action and words alike, that's the type of person she is.
I did try writing in some Frankie. I don't know Frankie's speech patterns at all. One day my stupid ass brain will let me read a singular book. That was something else I was contemplating doing during this week but I've been flagging on SHB due to being... in bed so much... or stadium suffering... the matchmaker the last three days has been incredibly heinous and tonight downright unfair. Match quality has been very bad in general since season start. Due to weekly reset min-maxing yesterday I only had to play two games which I won to get to where I needed to be. Today I had to play nine, because I lost seven of them, five consecutive, which at that much of a loss streak you should just fucking stop, but min-maxing points days are Tues/Weds 🫠 I keep getting mentally stuck on bad match chat experiences of the night, so until people learn to behave I might just turn chat off in game entirely for a bit, lmao.
I was playing a bit of my ouihaw save in the sims and then decided to make a Prih and G'raha sim. I then decided to make a five apartment building complex for not just them but a selection of Scions. As one does. I finished their unit at least and very lazily did one of the others, so tomorrow I'll pick a third...
I was going to have dad over for more flat maintenance or maybe furniture stuff, but hadn't done any tidying due to having prioritised writing, and with what were PMDD symptoms at the weekend that was probably a good call. It's equally tough to celebrate what should be a writing win as I did it, I bested those demons, when I am experiencing all the demons again just in a different font 😔 I do and have always felt like I'm repeating myself unknowingly from other fics in the same series, it's very same formulaic as a couple of others, but some parts I am very happy with. Ashe does a lot of emotional heavy lifting and makes a fair few little speeches whilst Amélie doesn't, it's lopsided, but I keep having to remind myself that at this point in them learning to co-inhabit that's okay. Amélie running away, choosing Ashe, staying with her in Arizona speak incredibly loudly so she has to do her best to reciprocally be worthy of such grandiose gestures... and she would reinforce with action and words alike, that's the type of person she is.
I did try writing in some Frankie. I don't know Frankie's speech patterns at all. One day my stupid ass brain will let me read a singular book. That was something else I was contemplating doing during this week but I've been flagging on SHB due to being... in bed so much... or stadium suffering... the matchmaker the last three days has been incredibly heinous and tonight downright unfair. Match quality has been very bad in general since season start. Due to weekly reset min-maxing yesterday I only had to play two games which I won to get to where I needed to be. Today I had to play nine, because I lost seven of them, five consecutive, which at that much of a loss streak you should just fucking stop, but min-maxing points days are Tues/Weds 🫠 I keep getting mentally stuck on bad match chat experiences of the night, so until people learn to behave I might just turn chat off in game entirely for a bit, lmao.
I was playing a bit of my ouihaw save in the sims and then decided to make a Prih and G'raha sim. I then decided to make a five apartment building complex for not just them but a selection of Scions. As one does. I finished their unit at least and very lazily did one of the others, so tomorrow I'll pick a third...
